Please meet BetterMan

You and I both know this person. Well, maybe not the same person but definitely this particularly annoying type of person. For the sake of this little rant I am going to name this person BetterMan. This character is definitely not a superhero. BetterMan gets their name because well, everything they have is just better, man.

It doesn’t matter if BetterMan is a close friend, family member or casual acquaintance. Certain undeniable truths make BetterMan the person they are. First of all, questioning you about the cost of your home, furniture, car, electronics, etc. is completely legitimate. Also, BetterMan would like to see your W2, tax returns and retirement accounts for comparison sake. There is absolutely no shame in BetterMans game.

Here is a classic example. You just purchased a new vehicle, BetterMan walks up and immediately asks, “What did you pay for the new rig?” Feeling a bit awkward you reply, “I got a pretty good deal.” Not happy with that answer Better Man responds, “Yeah I looked at that model but it seemed like the performance wasn’t quite there for the price. I decided to spend the extra and get the turbo powered Who Gives A Shit XL and man it’s expensive but I love it.” Of course you do BetterMan, of course you do.

The other thing about BetterMan is that they are in no way shape or form an expert in the bull they sling. Somehow BetterMan can work a 9 to 5 job as a middle manager at some shop and yet they have become the all – knowing Messiah of any major purchase you might have. Need to find out the television you researched online and purchased was ok but not nearly as good as Bettermans, they will be happy to tell you. Want to find out that you overpaid for your house in a neighborhood that BetterMan could only hope to live in, they got that shit too. See, for BetterMan this is like compensating for middle age by buying a Corvette and starting Botox treatments and pretending that maybe just maybe you haven’t lost a step a or two.

I have discovered that the hard part of dealing with BetterMan is in not just looking them straight in the face and calling bullshit. The satisfaction of saying, “Dude, you make $15.75 an hour and work 40 hours a week. I am no math major but I know enough to know that when you were out vehicle shopping you weren’t looking at a new Mercedes S-Class.” I think I would truly love to watch the crumbling of the BetterMan façade but I just can’t pull the trigger. Maybe I am getting soft in my old age, it happens to everyone. I guess I will have to just hang around and deal with it and maybe do a little Corvette and Botox shopping on my own.

Advertisements

Let’s do more than simply marking time.

Perhaps it was celebrating my 45th birthday last month. Maybe it was leafing through old photos and realizing that my children are growing up so fast right before my eyes. It may even be that creaky back I have every time I take the first tee shot of the day. It may have been one of these things, none of these things or a combination but recently it feels like I have had a bit of a revelation and if any of you, no matter the age, feel it also then I hope these words make sense.
Please understand that these words are not meant to be preachy or to pretend I know something so profound that it has escaped all of you. To be honest I think it is something that all of us deal with during our lives. I am not talking about the typical, “Why I am here?” question that many people smarter than I have puzzled over for years and years. I am thinking of something of more simple, something a little a basic, something not answered in the cosmos or in a redundant Dr. Phil self – help book. What I began to think about was this. Am I living life or just going through the motions? I mean, obviously I am alive and taking up space every day but is that all there is to it? I started to get a little concerned that maybe I wasn’t getting as much as I could get out of this particular roller coaster ride and since I don’t get to buy more tickets and ride again maybe I should make a little more out of it.
I am going to admit things are pretty darn good in my life and there are many, many people who have it way worse than me. I have a good career, tremendous kids who amaze me every day, a beautiful girlfriend who is an absolute rock star and a lovely home. All in all not a bad gig for a frumpy, 45 year old in Davison, Mi. Trust me I don’t want to trade any of it in. However, what if being complacent and comfortable is keeping me from experiencing even more in life. This is what I started thinking about and let me to branch out and try things a little differently. My goal and one that I had kept under was to try to my hand at writing. I had received some positive feedback on my blog, kind words about my social media work but never thought about taking that next step. I mean really, real writers have real talent and study their craft for years. Frankly, wasn’t I a little behind the curve here? What are the odds a middle aged guy with a job, career and household could even pull off even a small amount of success? What If I through myself out there and found out I was a talentless hack? What if I wasted time and resources that could be used for the family? Then I stepped back and realized this. Who gives a shit. If it turns out I can’t write a damn thing worthwhile my life will still be just fine. Will my kids love me less? Will I go bankrupt and lose my dream girl? The answer people is this, no. So here is what I ask of you, give it a shot. Whatever it is that you want go out and get it. I am not asking you all to quit jobs or abandon your families or do something foolish. What I am saying is there is a way to do it. I wanted to expand my writing so I found an online course at Gotham Writers Workshop in NYC and I am off and running. So here it is people, get out there and go for what you want. Hey single guys, that lovely brunette you see at the coffee shop during the week, go ask her out. Ladies, you have a desire to learn karate but don’t want to be embarrassed? Screw that. Get out there and kick some stuff. The bottom line is this folks, this is one ride, with one ticket and don’t you really want to have the maximum damn fun you can ?